NEWS
ISSUE 1 ISSUE 2 ISSUE 3 ISSUE 4
ISSUE TWO,
4/1/99 IS ANYBODY OUT
THERE? A thought came to
me yesterday as I sacrificed another day updating this news
page- "Does anybody actually read this stuff!?!" I'm just
kind of curious, not curious enough to set up a hit counter
or anything like that. However, if you are reading these
words that I am typing now let me know. Blah, blah,
blah...if nobody's reading this...I'll stop typing now.
-DKN- !!
THE BOOTLEG
CHRONICLES
!!! Many people have
asked me where I find the unique, bizarre and sometimes
horrifying bootleg toys that I do. The question is innocent
enough yet the answer is almost too terrible to
tell…and yet I must! Herein is the first installment of
the Bootleg Chronicles, an accurate account of how I became
one of the foremost bootleg hunters. Be warned that these
tales are not for the weak-hearted and are strictly for
those who are 16 years old or over. These tales are
copyright DKN so don’t go spreading them around without
my permission. Some names, locations and events have been
changed to protect the innocent. CHAPTER 1: THE
BEGINNING I was not always a bootleg hunter. There was a
time in my youth when I was beginning a promising career in
the entertainment industry. It was the summer and I was in
New York City studying at NYU under Peter Rea. I was
optimistic about the future. I had completed 6 short films
and Zambawatz, a prominent neo-noir filmmaker, had offered
me a role in his next film. Little did I know that my life
would soon spiral downward into the pit of
oblivion. I was on my way to
the set of the film "The Gardener’s Revenge" when an
event occurred that would forever change the course of
history. Angela, a contemptible and devious rival of mine
laid a trap for me. She wanted my part in the film rewritten
for her. She tried to seduce me but when I resisted her
‘charms’ she used force tactics. I overpowered her
but unfortunately she had an ace up her sleeve. She knew my
predisposition for unique collectibles and mentioned that
she had seen a MISB Transformer Targetmaster Springer in the
heart of Chinatown. Could I believe
her? Was it a trap? And Chinatown! Every brain cell screamed
at me not to go. Certainly I knew the danger but I was lead
by a higher power that day. Before I knew it I was swimming
through the thick fiery haze of Hades itself- Chinatown! My
pores wept as I sought shade but neither building nor beast
cast any shadows in this place. Just as I was about
to pass out I was dragged into a dark alley and found myself
staring into the eye of an Old Chinese Man. I knew instantly
that this man had been to the heart of darkness and spat
over the edge. He told me that he knew what I sought and
lead me to a tiny dirty shop. And there I saw IT! It was the
Transformer Defensor- but no, it was also Menasor…and
Superion…and Bruticus! The union between good and evil-
there it stood on a brittle card- Autobot and Decepticon
insignias side by side in a cross-cultural/ideological
diabolical orgy! (I fear I have
already revealed too much. Therefore I shall pause and
continue this tale next Month.) -DKN-
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HERE TO ORDER